Do you like to wait? Do you like waiting in line, waiting for a package to arrive, waiting for your next boyfriend or girlfriend, waiting for your direct deposit to hit, or waiting for your Postmates driver to get smart and figure out your correct address so he can deliver your food that’s already 30 minutes past its promised delivery time? No, you don’t. If you answered “yes”, then first of all, who even are you and second, please don’t even continue reading this post cause I ain’t got time.
I will preface with this: I am stubborn to the core. I can admit it. I’m realizing this about myself the more time I spend living on my own. I also hate waiting. I want things to happen at my pace, which is impossibly fast. I want to spend money at my pace. I want to develop relationships at my pace. I want to change at my pace because I’m painfully impatient and conversely, painfully indifferent at times. And although irritating, I know exactly how to fix it. Lucky me.
I have a friend who is blessed with the gift of prophesy. (Perhaps you read this and get turned off by that word. I do hope that is not the case but if you do, maybe you have yet to encounter someone that truly possesses this gift. If so, I pray one day, you might. I will write on this topic eventually, but that is another post for another time). In a nutshell, he told me that God has big things in store for my life, I but I need to trust his timing and let go of certain areas of my life, and by doing so, it will lead to a greater movement. Not everyone possesses the gift of prophesy, and many people never will. But I must admit, my sweet friend hears the Lord in supernatural ways and his accuracy is bone chilling. Even despite knowing this, I thought to myself. “Ok, sure, whatever. You’re probably right but I’ll see for myself. I’ve been told this before”. SEE? So stubborn.
I went to church tonight and again, I heard God say, “Trust me”. Like, why do I have to hear Him speak so much lately?! Wouldn’t it just be easier if I never heard Him? Honestly, in certain aspects, it probably would be but I know I would be living a numb existence, at best. Growth will never come from apathy, or so I’m learning.
The preacher spoke on trusting God’s timing, one of the most frustrating aspects of the Christian walk. I don’t believe God to be a mysterious God seeing as He has given us every possible tool to understand his character. I believe He is simply too great for my mind to comprehend. He’s God and I’m a human. I believe therein lies the mystery. Waiting for this unfathomable God to reveal the path He’s laid for my life does feel like forever, I will admit. But trusting Him at all times; in times of affliction, temptation, and darkness, I believe there is a great deal of reason for it. The power and strength He possesses are here to help. His love, grace, and mercy, move him to it, and are always the same. Considering what he has done for others that have trusted in him, and for ourselves presently, we should be encouraged.
The speaker said something, which is really very practical but insanely difficult to actually accomplish. He encouraged the church to “…take it step by step.” I found this to be really beautiful in its simplicity. Just take one small step towards God. Then, take one more small step. Eventually all the small steps will lead to a larger movement. And then to an entire season of life. Our life made up these seasons, all the beautiful ones as well as the seasons of trial.
I’m currently in a season of trial (feels like it’s been forever) and frankly, it’s very unpleasant. When my friend spoke of “letting go” of certain things, I knew in my heart what that meant. How I wish I could just avoid these dealings and go my own way but what I disservice I would be doing to my soul. I desire (well really, I desire to want the desire) to welcome hardship, as Peter did when he writes, ““In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials”. (1 Peter 1:6). Honestly, it terrifies me to welcome the season of difficulty because I know what I have to let go. And like, I said, I’m insanely stubborn and sin always seems easily managed on the surface (How I long for a quickly repentive heart). How wrong that mindset is and I continually urge myself to surrender this God. However, I find comfort the assurance that these trials are only for “a little while.” But how long is a little while? In what way is this temporary? It is temporary, not just because of the fact that it will end in time, but it is only a “little while” in comparison to the salvation and inheritance we will experience for eternity.
I do pray to remain hopeful, despite the waiting, because I know God will reward it with renewed strength. I hope to silence the impatience in my heart and move ahead of my worry so I can wait in hopeful expectation for what God has in store. A frustrating task to take on but so worth the struggle. Waiting quietly seems even more difficult, we can learn so much in the quiet. When we seek him with a quieted soul, we can sense His goodness speaking but we will miss it if we are too loud in the waiting. I know these things, but to practice them is the true test of humble surrender. So…pray for me, guys.
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” – Lamentations 3: 25-26