MONTERREY, Mexico – The world’s heaviest man has tied the knot. Manuel Uribe, who hasn’t left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend Claudia Solis Sunday in northern Mexico.

Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick.
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GET OUT OF JAIL FREE
Sometimes in life you only get one of those cards dealt to you.

(O.J. Simpson)

When you are faking a pose for a camera photo opportunity with the American flag.
At least get the phone turned in the right direction
(Obama)